101+ Score Jokes and Puns⚽⚽

Football, or soccer as it’s known in some parts of the world, isn’t just about the goals and the games. It’s also about the laughs and the fun shared among players and fans alike. Here are the top 10 hilarious football jokes and puns guaranteed to score laughs: 

1. ⚽ Funniest Football Jokes for Kids

1. Why did the football team go to the bank? To get their quarterback!
2. Why was the soccer field always wet? Because the players dribbled all over it!
3. What do you get if you see a football team at the bakery? A bunch of cup-cakes!
4. Why did the soccer player bring string to the game? So he could tie the score!
5. What does a soccer player say when he scores a goal? “Goal-den opportunity!”
6. Why do soccer players do well in school? They know how to use their heads!
7. Why is Cinderella so bad at soccer? She always runs away from the ball!
8. Why did the soccer ball go to therapy? It was tired of being kicked around!
9. What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match!
10. Why was the soccer player good at math? He knew how to calculate his angles!

2. 😆 Classic Soccer Puns to Kick Around

1. A football team is like a great salsa… full of good chips.
2. I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.
3. Playing football on a sunny day is a real scorcher.
4. I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
5. What do you call a football player who can play the piano? Tuned to perfection.
6. He wasn’t a good goalie because he was always net-working.
7. I would tell you a joke about a broken pencil, but it’s pointless.
8. My friend used to be a professional soccer player. Now he’s a referee-se.
9. Soccer players never get lost because they always follow the directions.
10. The soccer ball said to the goal post, “I get a kick out of you!”

3. 😂 Hilarious One-Liners for Football Fans

1. I once dated a girl who loved soccer. It was a kick.
2. I play football on an all-meat diet. My favorite position is the full-backer.
3. The soccer player brought string to the game to tie the score.
4. Soccer players have the best parties because they always know how to keep the ball rolling.
5. Soccer coaches bring umbrellas to games in case of a dribble.
6. I would make a soccer joke, but it’s just a bit offside.
7. Did you hear about the soccer player who tried to steal a plane? He got grounded.
8. Soccer players make great bankers because they always check their balance.
9. Soccer referees have to be careful, they might be foul-played.
10. Why don’t skeletons play football? They don’t have the guts.

4. 😹 Silly Soccer Jokes for the Whole Family

1. What do you call a soccer team that walks on water? Liverpool.
2. Why did the soccer player go to art school? He wanted to learn how to draw.
3. Why did the soccer team go to the party? Because they wanted to have a ball.
4. How do soccer players stay cool during games? They stand by the fans.
5. Why was the soccer player arrested? He stole the show.
6. Why are soccer players good at math? Because they always follow the rules.
7. What’s a soccer player’s favorite part of a joke? The punch line.
8. Why did the soccer player bring a ladder to the game? To reach the top score.
9. Why did the soccer player cross the road? To get to the other side.
10. How does a soccer player celebrate their birthday? With a kick-off party!

5. 😁 Soccer Puns That Are Goal-Den

1. The soccer player could always goal-d his nerve in a penalty shootout.
2. What do you call a soccer star with a bad attitude? A goal-den boy.
3. He’s the best goalie because he’s always net-positive.
4. Why was the soccer player a good musician? He was always in-tune.
5. How does a soccer player greet his fans? With a wave.
6. The soccer team couldn’t play cards because they always mis-dealt.
7. The goalie was so bad, the team nicknamed him Swiss Cheese.
8. He’s so good at soccer, he could score a goal in his sleep.
9. Why did the soccer player sit on the clock? To waste time.
10. The soccer coach didn’t get married because he couldn’t find a match.

6. 🤣 Rib-Tickling Soccer Humor

1. Why did the scarecrow become a great soccer player? Because he was always outstanding in his field.
2. What’s a soccer player’s favorite drink? Penal-tea.
3. How do soccer players stay in shape? They do a lot of kick-boxing.
4. Why did the soccer team go to the bakery? They needed a sweeper.
5. What kind of tea do soccer players drink? Penalty.
6. Why are soccer players always calm? Because they always know how to keep their cool.
7. Why do soccer players like to do well in school? They enjoy being goal-oriented.
8. How do soccer players greet each other? They give a high-five.
9. Why did the soccer player bring a bird to the game? To tweet the score.
10. What’s a soccer player’s favorite number? Ten, because it’s a perfect score!

7. 🤪 Witty Football One-Liners

1. Why was the soccer player late to the game? He took a wrong turn.
2. The soccer player’s new car is a real kick.
3. Why did the soccer ball fail math? It couldn’t calculate angles.
4. The soccer player couldn’t play cards because he always mis-dealt.
5. How do you know a soccer player is at your party? He brings a goal-light.
6. The soccer player went to space to practice zero-gravity.
7. The soccer player’s favorite dessert is a goal-den syrup cake.
8. Why was the soccer stadium so hot? All the fans left.
9. Soccer players love going to the zoo to see the goal-rillas.
10. What do you call a soccer player who loves photography? A goal-ographer.

8. 🤩 Soccer Humor to Share with Friends

1. What does a soccer player do when he loses his eyesight? He gets contacts.
2. Why was the soccer field so cold? Because it was full of fans.
3. The soccer team always brings a backup goalie to the game.
4. Why did the soccer player visit the library? To learn how to book a match.
5. The soccer player’s new haircut is a real goal-getter.
6. Why don’t soccer players play hide and seek? Because good players are easy to spot.
7. The soccer team went to the gym to practice their goal-keeping.
8. Why was the soccer player always calm? Because he knew how to keep his cool.
9. Soccer players enjoy reading books about goal-setting.
10. The soccer coach was so strict, he was always offside.

9. 😁 Corny Soccer Jokes for a Good Laugh

1. Why did the soccer team go to the bank? To get their checks.
2. Why are soccer players always broke? Because they can’t keep a dime.
3. What do you call a football match with no goals? Boring.
4. Why did the soccer player go to art school? To learn how to draw.
5. Why did the soccer player bring a rope to the game? To tie the score.
6. The soccer player’s favorite dessert is a goal-den syrup cake.
7. Why was the soccer field wet? Because the players dribbled all over it.
8. The soccer player bought a new car to kick-start his day.
9. The soccer team’s favorite fruit is a goal-den apple.
10. What’s a soccer player’s favorite type of music? Goal-dies.

10. 😂 Best Soccer Puns to Crack You Up

1. Why was the soccer player always calm? He knew how to stay cool.
2. What do you call a football match with no goals? A draw.
3. Why did the soccer player bring a ladder to the game? To reach the top score.
4. The soccer team always travels with a goal-die.
5. What’s a soccer player’s favorite type of music? Goal-dies.
6. The soccer player’s new car is a real kick.
7. Why did the soccer player visit the library? To learn how to book a match.
8. The soccer team’s favorite fruit is a goal-den apple.
9. Why was the soccer field so cold? Because it was full of fans.
10. The soccer player couldn’t play cards because he always mis-dealt.

11. 🤭 Quirky Soccer Jokes to Lighten the Mood

1. Why did the soccer player bring a pencil to the game? To draw the match.
2. What do you call a soccer player who likes to paint? An artist on the field.
3. Why did the soccer player take a nap on the field? Because he was a goal-keeper.
4. Why don’t soccer players ever get lost? Because they always stay on track.
5. How do you know if a soccer player is good? They always keep their cool.
6. What do you call a soccer player who’s good at math? A goal-culator.
7. Why was the soccer team always early? Because they had plenty of time.
8. What do soccer players do before bedtime? They count goals.
9. Why was the soccer field so noisy? Because it was full of fans.
10. How do soccer players stay in shape? They do a lot of goal-setting.

12. 😜 Soccer Puns That Are Sure to Entertain

1. Why did the soccer player go to the bar? To score a drink.
2. Why are soccer fields so green? Because they’re always full of grass.
3. How do soccer players pay for their groceries? With a goal-d card.
4. What’s a soccer player’s favorite snack? Goal-den popcorn.
5. Why did the soccer player take a flashlight to the game? Because he wanted to see the goal.
6. What do you call a soccer player who’s always on time? Punctuality.
7. Why don’t soccer players get hungry during games? Because they always have snack-breaks.
8. How do you keep a soccer player in suspense? Tell them you’ll tell them later.
9. Why did the soccer player join a band? Because he wanted to play some tunes.
10. What’s a soccer player’s favorite color? Goal-den yellow.

13. 🤯 Mind-Boggling Soccer Humor

1. Why did the soccer player go to the beach? To practice his sand-dribble.
2. What’s a soccer player’s least favorite vegetable? Squash.
3. Why don’t soccer players play chess? Because it’s too board-ing.
4. What do you call a soccer player who can sing? A goal-den voice.
5. Why do soccer players always carry a pen? In case they need to draw a foul.
6. Why was the soccer player so good at baking? Because he knew how to knead the dough.
7. What’s a soccer player’s favorite type of weather? Goal-den sunshine.
8. How do soccer players stay warm? They wear goal-oves.
9. Why did the soccer player bring an umbrella to the game? In case of a dribble.
10. What do you call a soccer player who’s a good cook? A goal-met chef.

14. 🧐 Clever Soccer Jokes for the Sharp-Witted

1. Why was the soccer player bad at fishing? Because he couldn’t catch anything.
2. How do soccer players communicate? With a goal-phone.
3. Why did the soccer player bring a broom to the game? To sweep the competition.
4. What’s a soccer player’s favorite book? The Goal-Finder.
5. Why did the soccer player visit the doctor? Because he had a goal-d.
6. How do soccer players cool down? They stand by the fans.
7. Why did the soccer player wear a hat? To keep his cool.
8. What’s a soccer player’s favorite dessert? Goal-den syrup.
9. Why do soccer players like to play in the rain? Because they love a good dribble.
10. How do you know a soccer player is good? They always stay on target.

15. 🤓 Brainy Soccer Puns to Impress

1. Why did the soccer player go to school? To get a goal-d star.
2. What do you call a soccer player who reads a lot? Goal-den mind.
3. How do soccer players stay organized? They keep a goal-d schedule.
4. Why was the soccer player good at science? Because he understood the goal-den ratio.
5. What’s a soccer player’s favorite subject? Goal-ography.
6. Why did the soccer player visit the museum? To see the goal-den exhibits.
7. How do soccer players keep their hair in place? With goal-d gel.
8. What’s a soccer player’s favorite game? Goal-f.
9. Why do soccer players always have good posture? Because they stand tall.
10. How do soccer players stay hydrated? They drink goal-d water.

16. 🤠 Soccer Jokes with a Country Twist

1. Why did the soccer player move to the countryside? To find a goal-d.
2. What’s a soccer player’s favorite animal? A goal-den retriever.
3. Why do soccer players love farms? Because they’re full of goal-d.
4. How do soccer players relax? They sit by the goal-den pond.
5. What’s a soccer player’s favorite plant? Goal-denrod.
6. Why did the soccer player become a farmer? To grow goal-den wheat.
7. What do you call a soccer player who loves the outdoors? Goal-den nature.
8. How do soccer players keep their boots clean? With goal-d polish.
9. What’s a soccer player’s favorite season? Goal-den fall.
10. Why did the soccer player buy a ranch? To have a goal-den home.

17. 🤐 Soccer Puns That Will Leave You Speechless

1. Why did the soccer player take a vow of silence? To focus on his goals.
2. How do soccer players meditate? By visualizing their goal-d.
3. Why did the soccer player avoid social media? To stay goal-focused.
4. What do you call a soccer player who never talks? Silent striker.
5. Why was the soccer player so mysterious? Because he was a goal-den enigma.
6. How do soccer players keep secrets? They stay silent.
7. Why did the soccer player go on a retreat? To clear his mind.
8. What’s a soccer player’s favorite type of silence? Goal-den.
9. How do you know a soccer player is deep in thought? They’re goal-d.
10. Why did the soccer player become a monk? To achieve goal-d enlightenment.

18. 🤯 Soccer Jokes That Are Mind-Blowing

1. Why did the soccer player go to space? To score a goal in zero gravity.
2. What do you call a soccer game on the moon? A lunar match.
3. Why did the soccer player study astronomy? To find the goal-d stars.
4. How do soccer players navigate the galaxy? With a goal-d map.
5. Why did the soccer player build a rocket? To reach the goal-d heights.
6. What’s a soccer player’s favorite planet? Goal-d Mars.
7. How do soccer players communicate with aliens? Using a goal-d translator.
8. Why did the soccer player visit the observatory? To see the goal-d constellations.
9. How do soccer players celebrate in space? With a goal-d party.
10. What’s a soccer player’s favorite type of science? Goal-d astrophysics.

19. 🤖 Futuristic Soccer Jokes

1. Why did the soccer player get a robot? To help with goal-d training.
2. What do you call a soccer match with robots? A mech-match.
3. How do soccer players use AI? To analyze their goal-d performance.
4. Why did the soccer player learn coding? To create a goal-d program.
5. What’s a soccer player’s favorite type of robot? Goal-d bot.
6. How do soccer players stay ahead of the game? With goal-d technology.
7. Why did the soccer player invent a new gadget? To achieve goal-d efficiency.
8. What’s a soccer player’s favorite sci-fi movie? Goal-d wars.
9. How do soccer players travel in the future? With a goal-d transporter.
10. Why did the soccer player go to the future? To see the goal-d championship.

20. 😄 Uplifting Soccer Puns to Brighten Your Day

1. Why did the soccer player always smile? Because he had a goal-den attitude.
2. What’s a soccer player’s favorite quote? “Stay goal-den“.
3. How do soccer players stay positive? With a goal-den mindset.
4. Why did the soccer player write a book? To share his goal-den experiences.
5. What do you call a soccer player who’s always happy? Goal-den smile.
6. How do soccer players spread joy? With their goal-den hearts.
7. What’s a soccer player’s favorite holiday? Goal-den Christmas.
8. Why did the soccer player volunteer? To make a goal-den difference.
9. How do soccer players handle stress? By staying goal-den calm.
10. What’s a soccer player’s favorite way to relax? Goal-den meditation.

Conclusion

These jokes and puns are sure to bring a smile to your face whether you’re on the pitch or in the stands. Soccer isn’t just a sport; it’s a source of endless humor and joy. So next time you’re watching a game, remember to share a laugh with your friends and family. After all, laughter is the best medicine, even for a soccer player who just missed a goal!