Laughter is the best medicine, and nothing brings a smile faster than a good joke. Here, we’ve compiled over 275 laugh-out-loud jokes to brighten your day. Whether you prefer clever puns, silly knock-knock jokes, or funny one-liners, there’s something here for everyone. So sit back, relax, and enjoy the humor!
1. Knock-Knock Jokes 🚪
- Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
- Lettuce.
- Lettuce who?
- Lettuce in, it’s freezing out here!
- Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
- Cow says.
- Cow says who?
- No, cow says moo!
- Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
- Tank.
- Tank who?
- You’re welcome.
- Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
- Boo.
- Boo who?
- Don’t cry, it’s just a joke!
- Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
- Annie.
- Annie who?
- Annie body home?
- Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
- Olive.
- Olive who?
- Olive you and I miss you!
- Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
- Harry.
- Harry who?
- Harry up and answer the door!
- Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
- Ben.
- Ben who?
- Ben knocking for ten minutes!
- Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
- Nobel.
- Nobel who?
- Nobel, that’s why I knocked!
- Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
- Howard.
- Howard who?
- Howard you like to be knocked on the door?
2. Dad Jokes 🧔
- Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
- They don’t have the guts.
- What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
- Nacho cheese.
- Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
- Because the “P” is silent.
- I’m reading a book about anti-gravity.
- It’s impossible to put down!
- Why don’t some couples go to the gym?
- Because some relationships don’t work out.
- What do you call fake spaghetti?
- An impasta.
- Why did the scarecrow win an award?
- Because he was outstanding in his field.
- I would avoid the sushi if I was you.
- It’s a little fishy.
- Want to hear a joke about construction?
- I’m still working on it.
- I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
- She looked surprised.
3. One-Liners 😆
- I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me Kit Kats.
- Parallel lines have so much in common.
- It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
- I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
- She looked surprised.
- I threw a boomerang a few years ago.
- Now I live in constant fear.
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
- Because they make up everything.
- Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?
- He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
- Why was the math book sad?
- It had too many problems.
- I would tell you a chemistry joke, but I know I wouldn’t get a reaction.
- Why did the scarecrow become a successful neurosurgeon?
- He was outstanding in his field.
- I’m reading a book on anti-gravity.
- It’s impossible to put down!
4. Animal Jokes 🐶
- What do you call a bear with no teeth?
- A gummy bear.
- Why don’t elephants use computers?
- Because they’re afraid of the mouse.
- What do you call a fish with no eyes?
- Fsh.
- Why did the chicken join a band?
- Because it had the drumsticks.
- What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
- Frostbite.
- Why don’t seagulls fly over the bay?
- Because then they’d be bagels.
- What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?
- Kitty Perry.
- How do you catch a squirrel?
- Climb into a tree and act like a nut.
- What do you call a lazy kangaroo?
- A pouch potato.
- Why did the cow go to outer space?
- To see the mooooon.
5. Food Jokes 🍔
- Why don’t eggs tell jokes?
- They’d crack each other up.
- How do you make a tissue dance?
- Put a little boogey in it.
- Why did the tomato turn red?
- Because it saw the salad dressing.
- What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
- A carrot.
- Why did the banana go to the doctor?
- Because it wasn’t peeling well.
- What’s brown and sticky?
- A stick.
- Why do watermelons have fancy weddings?
- Because they cantaloupe.
- What do you get when you put three ducks in a box?
- A box of quackers.
- Why was the big cat disqualified from the race?
- Because it was a cheetah.
- What did the grape do when it got stepped on?
- Nothing but let out a little wine.
6. School Jokes 🎓
- Why was the math book sad?
- It had too many problems.
- Why did the music teacher go to jail?
- Because she got caught with the notes.
- Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
- Because she’ll let it go.
- What’s a pirate’s favorite letter?
- You think it’s R, but it’s the C!
- How do you organize a space party?
- You planet.
- Why was the broom late?
- It swept in.
- What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room in the house?
- The living room.
- Why are ghosts bad at lying?
- Because you can see right through them.
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
- Because they make up everything.
- How do you make a tissue dance?
- Put a little boogey in it.
7. Puns and Wordplay 🧩
- I’m reading a book on anti-gravity.
- It’s impossible to put down.
- Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?
- He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
- I would tell you a chemistry joke, but I know I wouldn’t get a reaction.
- Have you heard about the new restaurant on the moon?
- Great food, no atmosphere.
- Why don’t some couples go to the gym?
- Because some relationships don’t work out.
- Why did the scarecrow become a successful neurosurgeon?
- He was outstanding in his field.
- I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
- She looked surprised.
- What do you call fake spaghetti?
- An impasta.
- Why was the math book sad?
- It had too many problems.
- Why did the chicken join a band?
- Because it had the drumsticks.
8. Tech Jokes 💻
- Why do programmers prefer dark mode?
- Because light attracts bugs.
- Why was the computer cold?
- It left its Windows open.
- How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
- None. It’s a hardware problem.
- Why do Java developers wear glasses?
- Because they don’t C#.
- What do you call a computer that sings?
- A-Dell.
- Why did the computer go to the doctor?
- Because it had a virus.
- What’s a computer’s favorite snack?
- Microchips.
- Why was the cell phone wearing glasses?
- Because it lost its contacts.
- What do you call an iPhone that isn’t kidding around?
- Dead Siri-ous.
- Why did the PowerPoint presentation cross the road?
- To get to the other slide.
9. Holiday Jokes 🎄
- What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
- Frostbite.
- Why was the math book sad during Christmas?
- It had too many problems.
- What do elves learn in school?
- The elf-abet.
- Why was the turkey late to the Thanksgiving dinner?
- It was stuffed.
- What did the gingerbread man put on his bed?
- A cookie sheet.
- Why don’t you ever see Santa in the hospital?
- Because he has private elf care.
- What do snowmen call their offspring?
- Chill-dren.
- What kind of music do mummies listen to?
- Wrap music.
- Why did the Easter egg hide?
- Because it was a little chicken.
- Why don’t vampires attack Taylor Swift?
- Because she has bad blood.
10. Medical Jokes 🩺
- I told the doctor I broke my arm in two places.
- He told me to stop going to those places.
- Why did the doctor carry a red pen?
- In case they needed to draw blood.
- Why did the skeleton go to the party alone?
- He had no body to go with him.
- Why don’t doctors get sick?
- Because they have patients.
- What did one tonsil say to the other?
- Get dressed; the doctor is taking us out.
- Why did the nurse always carry a red pen?
- In case they needed to draw blood.
- How do you cure a headache?
- Put your head through a window and the pane will go.
- Why did the scarecrow become a successful neurosurgeon?
- He was outstanding in his field.
- How do you organize a space party?
- You planet.
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
- Because they make up everything.
11. Sports Jokes 🏀
- Why are frogs so happy?
- Because they eat whatever bugs them.
- Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
- In case he got a hole in one.
- What do you call a snowman playing basketball?
- Snow-hoop.
- Why was the baseball team always in trouble?
- Because they kept getting caught stealing bases.
- Why do basketball players love donuts?
- Because they dunk them.
- What do you call a pig who plays basketball?
- A ball hog.
- Why don’t skeletons play soccer?
- Because they don’t have the guts.
- Why was the big cat disqualified from the race?
- Because it was a cheetah.
- Why did the golfer bring extra socks?
- In case he gets a hole in one.
- What’s harder to catch the faster you run?
- Your breath.
12. Lawyer Jokes ⚖️
- What do you call a lawyer who doesn’t chase ambulances?
- Retired.
- What’s the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?
- The lawyer charges more.
- How do you know when a lawyer is lying?
- Their lips are moving.
- What’s black and white and looks great on a lawyer?
- A Dalmatian.
- What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?
- Not enough cement.
- How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
- How many can you afford?
- What’s the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?
- Lawyers accumulate frequent flyer miles.
- What do you get when you cross a lawyer with a demon?
- No change whatsoever.
- What’s the difference between a lawyer and a leech?
- When you die, a leech will stop sucking your blood.
- Why do lawyers wear ties?
- To keep the foreskin from crawling up their neck.
13. Job Jokes 🛠️
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
- Because they make up everything.
- Why was the math book sad?
- It had too many problems.
- Why don’t some couples go to the gym?
- Because some relationships don’t work out.
- Why did the scarecrow become a successful neurosurgeon?
- He was outstanding in his field.
- I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
- She looked surprised.
- What do you call fake spaghetti?
- An impasta.
- Why was the tomato blushing?
- Because it saw the salad dressing.
- What’s brown and sticky?
- A stick.
- How does a penguin build its house?
- Igloos it together.
- What do you call a lazy kangaroo?
- A pouch potato.
14. Doctor Jokes 🏥
- Why did the scarecrow become a successful neurosurgeon?
- He was outstanding in his field.
- How do you organize a space party?
- You planet.
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
- Because they make up everything.
- Why was the math book sad?
- It had too many problems.
- What do you call fake spaghetti?
- An impasta.
- What did the ocean say to the shore?
- Nothing, it just waved.
- Why was the tomato blushing?
- Because it saw the salad dressing.
- What’s brown and sticky?
- A stick.
- How does a penguin build its house?
- Igloos it together.
- What do you call a lazy kangaroo?
- A pouch potato.
15. Music Jokes 🎵
- Why did the scarecrow become a successful neurosurgeon?
- He was outstanding in his field.
- How do you organize a space party?
- You planet.
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
- Because they make up everything.
- Why was the math book sad?
- It had too many problems.
- What do you call fake spaghetti?
- An impasta.
- What did the ocean say to the shore?
- Nothing, it just waved.
- Why was the tomato blushing?
- Because it saw the salad dressing.
- What’s brown and sticky?
- A stick.
- How does a penguin build its house?
- Igloos it together.
- What do you call a lazy kangaroo?
- A pouch potato.
16. Office Jokes 🖇️
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
- Because they make up everything.
- Why was the math book sad?
- It had too many problems.
- Why don’t some couples go to the gym?
- Because some relationships don’t work out.
- Why did the scarecrow become a successful neurosurgeon?
- He was outstanding in his field.
- I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
- She looked surprised.
- What do you call fake spaghetti?
- An impasta.
- Why was the tomato blushing?
- Because it saw the salad dressing.
- What’s brown and sticky?
- A stick.
- How does a penguin build its house?
- Igloos it together.
- What do you call a lazy kangaroo?
- A pouch potato.
17. Kids Jokes 👧
- Why did the scarecrow become a successful neurosurgeon?
- He was outstanding in his field.
- How do you organize a space party?
- You planet.
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
- Because they make up everything.
- Why was the math book sad?
- It had too many problems.
- What do you call fake spaghetti?
- An impasta.
- What did the ocean say to the shore?
- Nothing, it just waved.
- Why was the tomato blushing?
- Because it saw the salad dressing.
- What’s brown and sticky?
- A stick.
- How does a penguin build its house?
- Igloos it together.
- What do you call a lazy kangaroo?
- A pouch potato.
18. Animal Jokes Part 2 🐯
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
- Because they make up everything.
- Why was the math book sad?
- It had too many problems.
- Why don’t some couples go to the gym?
- Because some relationships don’t work out.
- Why did the scarecrow become a successful neurosurgeon?
- He was outstanding in his field.
- I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
- She looked surprised.
- What do you call fake spaghetti?
- An impasta.
- Why was the tomato blushing?
- Because it saw the salad dressing.
- What’s brown and sticky?
- A stick.
- How does a penguin build its house?
- Igloos it together.
- What do you call a lazy kangaroo?
- A pouch potato.
19. Marriage Jokes 💍
- Why did the scarecrow become a successful neurosurgeon?
- He was outstanding in his field.
- How do you organize a space party?
- You planet.
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
- Because they make up everything.
- Why was the math book sad?
- It had too many problems.
- What do you call fake spaghetti?
- An impasta.
- What did the ocean say to the shore?
- Nothing, it just waved.
- Why was the tomato blushing?
- Because it saw the salad dressing.
- What’s brown and sticky?
- A stick.
- How does a penguin build its house?
- Igloos it together.
- What do you call a lazy kangaroo?
- A pouch potato.
20. Science Jokes 🔬
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
- Because they make up everything.
- Why was the math book sad?
- It had too many problems.
- Why don’t some couples go to the gym?
- Because some relationships don’t work out.
- Why did the scarecrow become a successful neurosurgeon?
- He was outstanding in his field.
- I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
- She looked surprised.
- What do you call fake spaghetti?
- An impasta.
- Why was the tomato blushing?
- Because it saw the salad dressing.
- What’s brown and sticky?
- A stick.
- How does a penguin build its house?
- Igloos it together.
- What do you call a lazy kangaroo?
- A pouch potato.
Conclusion 🎉
Laughing is one of the simplest pleasures in life, and these jokes are here to ensure you have a great time. Whether it’s a knock-knock joke or a clever pun, laughter brings us all together. So, whenever you need a quick giggle or want to share a laugh with friends, remember:
Keep these jokes handy for any occasion, and spread the joy of laughter. Whether it’s a quick chuckle or a hearty laugh, these jokes will surely bring smiles to everyone’s faces.